Libra Horoscope for week of May 4, 2006

Espertantina, a town in Brazil, celebrates May 9 as Orgasm Day. As much as I'd love to import this enlightened holiday to my home country of America, it might be difficult in the foreseeable future. Why? Because religious fundamentalists have been spreading their infectious mental disease, seducing people into mistrusting their bodies' natural urges. Meanwhile, the advertising and entertainment industries try to sell us on the glamour of being in a chronic state of titillation without satisfaction. I'm calling on you Libras to do what you can to resist these cultural trends. The astrological omens say this is an auspicious time for you to seek out, cultivate, and honor your own orgasms.

today is the best day. ever.

the duke comes back tomorrow and i am so happy i can hardly exist in my skin. he is also going to be the new roommate. it was hard to convince him at first but i think the way we handled it revealed all. ill have to stress with him how important communication will be to this. but i think my instincts will serve us well. i do feel however that his schedule will begin to dictate mine so i can't wait for him to move in, so i can move on with my life. its an odd sacrifice i think. but the best thing you can be is a good friend. so whatever he needs. it will also be good to see his mom tomorrow too. she has a quiet strength about her...

"I thought you would all like to see this nice thing David told me in an email he sent today. He was one of the alumni closest to Julius:

'I have to tell you and the rest of the staff there that Julius loved working with you and he adored all of you. Working for Harvard and with such an incredible group of people gave him the most joy of anything in his life outside of being with his nieces and nephew. In the hospital, we read him your cards and he cried - cried because he was sad to leave you, but also because he knew you loved him.

It is small comfort in times like these, but believe that you all helped enrich Julius' life. Thank you for that.'"

julius died on saturday night after a 9 month long battle with colon cancer. he was with family and friends. his star, which burned brighter than most, was extinguished way too early; at the age of 36.

julius, you are the only person i have met in my life that said only positive things. i hope you knew how rare that really is...i miss you already.

i missed a few days back there from being on the cape but i think i can recap easily. weekend was very cool. and the duke actually has us all on a pretty normal sleeping schedule these days. he gets tired when normal people are supposed to get tired so we all kinda go to bed. and we get up early with him too. kinda funny how that works. anyways friday was very chill, just movies and carnivale, couple beers and a raging fire that lasted all night. saturday was mostly herbal dreaming and movies, beer, good foods lots of rain and bbq even though it was raining. once the rain cleared and the fast moving clouds wore over the sky i saw the halo moon, the same one that i saw just days before the duke broke down his walls to us. i panicked a little there for fear of something else bad coming my way. sunday the duke was a little more subdued. he gets tired easily i think and all the excitement was a lot for him. but we laughed and joked anyway. i think he'll be back in about two weeks and then the daily journal will end. i might actually write this out like an adult one day. see if anybody else wants to read it. we asked the duke about moving in, he just cited the landlord complexities that he had mentioned the last time we talked about him moving in. he is going to try though. anybody can get out of a lease if they try hard enough. so we will see. that, however, would make me extremely happy; to have him in our house. also got to snuggle with my crush boy a little this past weekend-still one of my favorite things to do. left red a message about sunday dinner and she never called back. then called two more times. then i check my email last night and her phone is busted. i can't wait to hear the "i was so drunk i dropped my phone in the toilet story" which had better prove to be the case otherwise im not laughing.

so today i get to go to the cape! i am very excited about it because one of my roommates has decided to move out to move back in with his girlfriend now that she is almost done with law school. disco and i want to ask the duke to move in with us and i hope we will have im saying yes by the end of the weekend. i hope he doesnt think that we want him there just so we can keep an eye on him, but its partially true. what i want to avoid is him being in that apartment all alone, with his sleeping habits, locked in his own brain. knowing that if i have a bad night or anything that i can go wake up a roommate at any time is a huge help to me. its also why i sleep like shit when i am the only one in the house. call me crazy.... ha. funny. the reality is of course that he would be doing us a big favor my moving in with us but he has some issues with his landlord and a lease so we'll just have to wait and see. i think we will still go through the motions with mike with looking for a roommate but really its just a ploy to buy the duke a little time.

my trainer kicked the crap out of me last night, but i actually feel good enough to go again tonight. i haven't ran since the latest tooth incident, so im looking forward to it. also the duke is coming to the cape this weekend with my little crush boy in tow so that makes my day. itll be good and chill to hang out with them. the wild card of course being lulu, but i think her not knowing the details of the duke is helping her keep her tongue. we'll see.

still reeling from julius. i can only imagine how weak and scared he must be. my thoughts of this are only interrpted by the physical side effects of my giant gin hangover. *groans* i did manage to forget about my life for a while to laugh and play darts....

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
On my liar’s chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stain of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way